I'm getting tired of these mindsets.

Censored by myself.

So I was wrong.

Despite my misgivings about this new Linkin Park album (Minutes to Midnight)I have come around to enjoy it. Most of it actually. Some things I can't get really. Why the change of heart? I noticed the obvious nuclear diarmament title. Minutes to midnight refers to how close we are to nuclear destruction:

http://www.thebulletin.org/minutes-to-midnight/

Presently, we are 5 Minutes To Midnight.

The whole ablbum seems to be politically... I really don't want to use the phrase "politically charged"... influenced. The album is actually better than I gave it credit for. The music is certainly different than the band has really ever produced. I can only assume this is why I disliked it from the start. But if I put the previous albums aside and simply allow the music to play, it's very good.


Also, I'm blogging from my roof.

Otherworlds.

Why is it I'm so obsessed with things being different than they already are? Whether I'm watching a movie and losing myself in the world it opens up to me, or reading a book about an Otherworld of some sort. Why is the theme of my blog is based on the possibilities just beyond me? Why do I focus so much of my intellect on the fourth dimension, outer space, a land where the things we prove not to exist flee to? Why is my life centered on making this world more Just, more beautiful.

Perhaps it's not all the time though. There is also a side of me that clings to the now and here. The photos I take of the world are an attempt to preserve and perpetuate the perfect moments before me. For they do exist in countless numbers.

There is some link between my love of fantasy and my love of real life.



It's funny when you answer your own questions. You type something out and then suddenly realize the simple truth is. That's the thing with all great questions. Their answers are always simple. I was once told by a brilliant professor that if the answer to your question isn't easily explained, it's probably the wrong answer.

I search for the fantasy, the mystery, the feelings of serenity that exist in the world. And when I can't find them I manufacture them in my mind.


I want so very much for my life to be one long moment in a field of wispy green grass. Just cool enough for a coat. The treeline in the distance, reaching for the sky. Anyone I care about simply existing together and talking for the sake of talking. We don't live in houses, we don't need to buy or sell, or work, or fear. the shade of the tree, and the stories of our imaginations are all we need.


It must be 4. I never could get the hang of late night epiphanies.

Ah, the First Amendment.

My extremely public courtship with her has come to an end. And will now have to become a secret love affair.

(Now Clickable) Nuclear Holocaust.

So, I in my strange mind, saw the smoke from the fires in Reno and thought I'd make this:

The explosion is a copyrighted, image and therefore this isn't really all mine, but I thought it was pretty neat. I didn't even use Photoshop. I used my dumb person version of Photoshop called Picture It. Anyhow. I think it looks neat. Here is the original if anyone wondered what that looked like:

And onto my motivation for making such a photo. Because I (almost) never make art without a reason behind it. The reason here has a lot to do with showing how close to home violence can strike. We see the wars, bombings and disasters through a number of convenient rectangles. So much so that we begin to feel that these tragedies are confined to the indestructible barriers around these rectangles. What we aren't prepared for is that day when there isn't a rectangle keeping the panic, the fear, and the danger from our lives. And the images will be real and moving. They will be grand and we won't be able to click them away, or toss them into the wastebasket.

Cars.

On the way to the DMV, I passed a lot where I noticed some cars. I went in and got an ID card, and on my way back I investigated the lot. What I found was terrifying. I wasn't expecting to see the twisted metal of some of the cars. Some of the cars were so jagged and splintered, it seemed as if they had been turned inside out. It didn't seem like anyone could have made it out of those cars alive. They probably didn't. And that's what scared me most.

When death is staring you in the face, the reality of it comes down on you like the weight of the world.

Entering, never breaking.

In the UNR PD Station.
(not direct quotes, just approximations)
Annie: Catch that door before it closes.
Me: Why?
Annie: I'd rather have an open door than a closed one.

Actual post starts here:

I have this strange urge to explore where I'm not supposed to. Maybe it's the journalist in me. Abandoned buildings are amazing places. Once inside I explore everything. (See the previous post about the abandoned casino.) Perhaps it's the video games I played as a child...er still play.

As a kid I had a friend that I'd go out and explore the neighborhood with. We took fake guns, dressed in camouflage and black. We were actually pretty formidable looking. Especially because some of our guns were painted to look real.

Later I would explore the complex system of tunnels that lies underneath Henderson. It's strange, but they really exist.

Then there were some things I'm not really at liberty to talk about at the moment.

And more recently I climbed onto a filing cabinet, through the ceiling of one classroom, over a ventilation duct, and crash landed into another classroom.

All things said, I could probably have a career in burglary or information reconnaissance. Honestly, the second one sounds awesome. Entering a chemical research facility, never breaking, climbing through, taking pictures of things in certain rooms, getting out, stashing them at a drop point, getting lots of money. All the while I work as the wide eyed photographer for the local paper.

Yes. I wonder if there's even a market for that any more, now that everything is digital and online.

Kitties!

Wildfire sunset.

The fires in the area make the sunsets around Reno amazing. So I climbed on my roof.

Goin' all Silent Hill on you.

So I discovered that the chemistry research building is really creepy. It gives off a kind of Silent Hill, or Alice feel. So I figured I'd try to capture that. My next stop is the agriculture building, and we all know how fucking creepy that place is.

Oh, and squirrels.

I forgot to mention. There are squirrels living under the education building. I really hope they aren't discovered by the groundspeople. Shit, blogging it is probably not the best idea.

One megapixel camera.

So I was out and about with no real camera, and I found myself in a very photogenic hallway. I then used my cell phone with its one megapixel camera. So, here's one of the pictures in all of its pixelated glory.

Camera phone images kind of have an interesting quality to them. Perhaps I'll do a project about it...

Getting sloppy.

So, either I'm getting paranoid, or the infamous "they" or "them" are getting careless. A few months ago I was driving to a museum with Juliet in Vegas. (I believe that's where we were going...) But as we were driving I looked out toward the Strip (vortex of lost dreams). And I saw 4 or 5 black helicopters. This, while not really strange to most people, strikes fear into the hearts of conspiracy theorists like myself. See here:
That's roughly the sort of thing I saw, except with no markings, and guns clearly mounted on the front.

Next came a more recent event. I was on my way to the airport using the public transportation (go me!) when three of the patrons on the bus exclaimed that they had just seen police put a bag over a mans head. I turned to look and saw that the police had indeed put a black bag over the mans head and were proceeding to arrest him. This sort of thing is common in fiction. It's even called "Black Bagging" if you can find the literary refrences. So. I'm keeping an eye out.