Saturday, June 22, 2019

So I Have a Mental Illness

It’s a hard thing to say out loud, or even in text. But I’ve got something going on with my head that I’ve come to accept warrants attention in the same way that allergies or arthritis do. Nobody really knows what it is. I’ve been labeled with many things in the past:

ADHD
Bipolar
Depression
Anxiety

It’s not a terribly long list, but some mix of that is me. I’ve always felt like everyone’s mental stuff is inherently subjective. It’s like there are all these sliding scales and I fit into them somewhere. Anyway. I have a prescription now for bupropion. I think it’s helping. I still have some trouble with anxiety, so I’m not sure if I’m going through a tougher patch or if my dosage isn’t high enough or if this medication doesn’t help anxiety. It’s not really meant to help with anxiety so I guess it’d make sense if there was more of that still floating around.

Not sure why I wrote all this out. But I suppose it’s a part of my life and worth remembering how I feel right now.

Which is to say, anxious about things, sad sometimes for no reason, sometimes more sad than is necessary. But I’m better. Better than I was for a little while.