Reflection on Hope

It's easy to say that the youth who voted for Obama are disillusioned. It's infrequent to see an explanation of why we are. I guess the reasons are varied, and perhaps that's why you don't see it spelled out. But I have my own reasons, if anyone cares about them.

I said to everyone who implied it that I wasn't putting Obama on a pedestal. Even in blog posts, deny deny deny. The message I was attached to was "Hope". Quite literally Obama's presidency was literally the only thing that I found that gave me hope for the future. Obama became my hope.

I want to say now that even though I count myself among the disillusioned youth, I believe that Obama has done some real good for America. I believe that he is steering the country in a direction that is good not only for me but for the children I may some day have. The problem is that steering a country isn't like steering a boat. Our boat has thousands of rudders and wheels. Some are larger than others and have more influence, but one man at one wheel does not change the course.

The disappointment stems from the reality that surfaced after the election. Politicians, business leaders, and others in power don't change overnight. The country itself was already running full on into peril.

I guess this is all nonspecific word splatter, but it gives me perspective. The other major theme four years ago was change. And the two themes of hope and change still ring deep in me. Though they're changed somehow.

Instead of a blind hope that one man can do it all, I now have hope that we are changing course.

Musing

Bus moves, through the dark.
Shadows twist and slide,
glide across seats.
Passengers sleep.

I find myself thinking about traveling. About how much cheaper escape is when you plan it one way.

Train platform metaphors are my favorite.

The Killers Musical

That's right. Someone needs to do it. Setting? Las vegas. Characters? A heroin addict, a stripper, a gambler, a student, and a homeless man. Plot? In one word? Escape. In many? The tale of five people unconnected at first but slowly drawn together by their need to leave this "two-star town".

Wow, I totally already have a mini plot in my head. If only I could write.

I have random flashes of what I'd want to do.

The homeless man lives near the "Welcome to Las Vegas" sign in a drainage tunnel.

I'd basically take the final scene from my post "I walked out of town today". It would be very touching and involve one last look back at the twinkling lights. And I'm not sure whether or not the group (minus a couple of people) will drive off or if it should end with them standing around the car looking back at the city.

Musings on myself

I've always found a deep and troubling connection with those characters you see in movies that coat the walls of one room with their thoughts. I've always had the urge to do that. To lock myself in a room with reams of paper, a computer and a printer. The end result of which I believe would be an astounding piece of artwork. I want to map out my ideas on massive walls. Start in the center and let it grow like some virus upon the wall.

I also want to do this in three dimensions. start with a room the size of an airplane hangar and employ dozens of people to help me build wonderland. Where sketches of domed shaped rooms with mirror floors and starry skies could be just one of the hundreds of other rooms. Mobius strips the size of a BMW bus.

On a much more attainable level I want to make a book. A book of paper models. Each page would be made of cardstock, and have shapes that you would pop out of their perforation that when put together would make paper models of the universe. And not just the ones I think are real. These models would bring abstract notions into a visual corporeal existence. So people would then see just how the universe ticks. And "tick" is kind of exactly the right word. I want people to construct these simple white models and see the metaphorical gears behind the white clock face.

Beautiful Malancholy.

A beautiful mix of joy and depression. A feeling that reminds you that to miss a pair of lips means you've had them before. That to want companionship means theres hope for it. Even that there is a deep beauty in everything.

I'm taking pictures tonight.

This song is also amazing: Here.

Ghosts on the net.

What would happen to my Blogger, Myspace, Facebook, Twitter, Flickr, Youtube, and etc. accounts if I were to die tomorrow? Would they live on as a ghost on the net?

It's an interesting idea. Everything would continue on existing after my death like a carnival ride crafted by a dead man. Pages would load. Slide shows would play. Words would continue to exist with my thoughts and emotions. It's interesting to think of a ghost this way. Just as a profile page still exists after the host dies, so does a ghost. The page doesn't know that it's dead.

And is a page in some small way still the person who made it? If it still contains emotion in its texts and photos, does it not still retain some small part of the individual who made it?

Is this why profile sites are so popular? A natural instinct not only to be remembered by minds that will also die, but to leave a permanent mark on something. Just something to think about.

Oh my god. Look here.

"Hey!!!!my name is Haley and i love life...!" She died yesterday.

Dinosaurs.

Seriously people. People who were kids during the dino-craze of the 90's (Jurassic park came out in 1993. Scary, I know.) are going to start snatching up merchandise associated with anything dino-riffic very soon. As in it's probably already happening. I just purchased a book about dinosaurs I haven't thought about for years because I felt nostalgic.

I recommend that anyone holding onto dinosaur memorabilia hand it over to me immediately.

What I hate about pop culture.

What I hate about pop culture is that it can champion the world's shittiest ideas, (American Idol, Big Brother TEN, Gossip Girl, A show starring Paris Hilton, A show starring the fact that Paris and Nicole don't like eachother, A GAME SHOW featuring the host ruining marriages) but also be so spot on with other things. (House, Dexter, etc.)