Behind Doors

Clarity

2011-11-04T10:35:00.000-07:00

I don't exactly know if there is an appropriate place for me to talk about...whatever this is. But a low readership blog seems like it might be a good place for honesty. This place is a rolodex of memory for me in a way, so maybe it's a good place for this:

Every once in a while things are clear. I’m not sure if that’s a statement that’s true to everyone, but it is for me. There are a lot of metaphors for how I feel most of the time. It’s either grown slowly, or it has always been there. but when *it* lifts, the world is so much…clearer I guess?

ADHD is one possibility. Some guy with a lot of Native American drums once diagnosed me. And some lady with bare walls once gave me medicine. I didn’t take it for long enough to know if it worked. It seemed to, near the end, vaguely. But I was on Summer vacation, and the school’s mental health clinic was closed to me at the time. So I ran out. And I guess the fog, if its there at all must have thickened up again.

That’s the problem with deciding if you have a problem like this. *If* I do, it’s been there the whole time. And without putting on metaphorical glasses, the world has always looked like this to me.

Here are a few metaphors for what this feels like:

-A battlefield of ideas where everyone wears the same uniform.
-A spider web, where my thoughts can progress and get caught along the way. The inertia slowing.
-A sandstorm
-A fog
-A whirlwind

The most apt one has always seemed to be a whirlwind. I’m at the center. All the ideas are circling at different speeds, knocking into each other. To focus on one I reach out and grasp at it. It’s moving so sometimes this takes more focus than others. The strength of the wind varies.

And now we come to clarity. Sometimes the wind dies. Dust lifted from the ground along with ideas and memories settle down. And I can organize them. Group them. I can see them. And what’s amazing is I can ignore them too. I can pick one up and just walk around with it, turn it over in my hands. But eventually and sometimes suddenly the wind picks up again.

I don’t know if this is just *life* or if this calm desert hardpan is what everyone else sees. Perhaps my ratios are just off. With more dust storms than most people. Maybe everyone has them, but they’re occasional annoyances.

So, if anyone reads this these days, what does your desert look like? Is it as tumultuous as mine? Or calm most of the time?

Moving.

2011-11-03T15:28:00.000-07:00

So I'm going to be making that move now. Photography news and the like will now be situated www.danjclarkphoto.com/blog. Hope to see you there.

City Moves

2011-10-25T10:03:00.000-07:00

I recently photographed a dance show entitled "City Moves". It was a collaboration of Las Vegas Strip performers, CSN and others and it was fantastic. I was asked to provide photography for the event, and this is what I produced:

I can't take even half the credit for these, because the choreographers, dancers, stage lighting, and a long list of other people are responsible for most of the artwork here.

The Occupation

2011-10-22T15:04:00.000-07:00

I headed out to Occupy Las Vegas last night for their first night of physical 'occupation'. It was very interesting. There's a lot of heart in the movement, and they're very accepting of new people and new ideas. They're part of the overall Occupy movement, but they're not afraid of doing things differently than other Occupations.

Here are some photos for your viewing pleasure:

In an effort to...

2011-10-18T17:54:00.000-07:00

...keep this thing updated I now share with you a seriously unguided post. It's a good idea to have a direction when you post something. It keeps readers engaged, and lets them know where something is going. You do not have that luxury (Unless you're me, which is more likely. In which case you know exactly where this is going.)

Lost *spoilers*

I know. I'm the last person on earth to watch Lost, but shut up. I'm halfway through the final season and I'm realizing that LOST is MYST. Just think about it.

Occupy Wall St.

I definitely knew this thing would be big. And I want to be involved, but then again I also want to eat, and pay rent.

Oh! Road Rage.

What the hell is up with people. So I cut off some guy the other day. He followed me for two miles. And when I got to somewhere I had to stop he pulled in front of me and got out of his car. ~~Walked~~ stormed over to me and began yelling incoherently. I (from the safety of my locked car) told him that I had indeed already said I was sorry for cutting him off. Then he began hitting my window with great force. I think he might have hurt himself. My window is fine. Then he kicked my car. I think he hurt himself there too. My door is not fine.

Anywho. I'll post some photos of something sometime. This blog needs some pretty rectangles.

Tense.

2011-10-07T17:24:00.000-07:00

Ever step up to a ledge, be it the edge of a cliff or the edge of a swimming pool, and feel your body prepare? Not a physical tensing of the muscles, that's what happens *next*. What I'm describing is anticipation I guess, but the raw feeling. It's this transition moment of potential I'm pointing to.

That's what I feel sometimes in my head. It's infuriating sometimes, getting past that ledge. I'll just wait and wait and the revelation won't come. Then, later by some magic what it is will come to light. Usually after I've moved on.

This is similar to another phenomenon I also find frustrating. This one is this sudden onset of a mental pause. It's like I come to a log across my path. And I stop. And I look at it wondering what it is. And I can't get past it. Then I realize it's freaking log and just climb over it.

This happens with simple things like, say, applesause. I'll be stoked about eating some applesause. Freakin awesome delicious applesause. Then I get sidetracked by something else momentarily, like a news story, or a bunny. Then, for all the salt in the sea I can't remember what it is I wanted to do. I'll sit there. Staring in the direction of what I wanted to do. "It's that way." I'll think to myself. "It was....tasty?" Time passes, I have no idea how much, Then, pow, I remember.

Daniel Clark/Las vegas Review-Journal

2011-09-08T10:05:00.000-07:00

I now work for the Las Vegas Review-Journal. They even pay me! I doubt anyone cares, but I will create a breif timeline of events to explain. Maybe this will be nice for me to look at in the future.

I am at my parents house. My brother comes home and informs me that there's some sort of sutuation over by my old high school. Against better judgement and logic I set off to see what's going on. I learn that there is what appears to be a hostage situation gouing on. No one can get close, unless they're me, and sneaky.

So I creep a bit, a man says to me, "Hey, want to see some smoke?" I tell him that I indeed would like to see some smoke. Se co down one dead end road and if you peer in between two houses you can see smoke wafting from the house where the alleged hostage situation is going on. I approach and find that from the backyard of these houses, I could see the whole situation below me. I wait. An old woman comes out of her home into her backyard. I ask her for entry, and I get in. Taking photos noone else has access to I phone the RJ. I ask them if they wanty them. They say yes. I finish up shooting and rush to a place to edit. I do, and then I send them off.

I get a call from the editor.

"These are great." "If we were running a story on this, these are the ones we'd use." (And various other nice things.) So I ask him if I could maybe meet him for coffee, just to talk about the photojournalism world. He tells me, "We have coffee here at the office, why don't you come down sometime?"

I go. We meet, he tells me that the photo world is inundated with new talent, and I'd probably have to get more school, or go somewhere else for a job in journalism. Another guy takes a look at my portfolio. He says that I need to trim it down, way down.

I leave.

I edit my portfolio, and I contact the person who'd looked at my portfolio. He invites me down again. We talk about my work, and he says that there's a lot going on at the paper right now and the photo editor I'd talked to was no longer the editor. We shake hands, and he tells me he'll shop my portfolio around when I edit it down and make it perfect.

I begin doing that.

Then, a phone call from a number I do not know as I sit watching TV. It's the interim photo editor, he tells me that he has work for me. The next day I do my first assignment, go to the office, and sign paperwork as a stringer.

People who need to ne thanked and without whom this wouldn't have happened:

Justin Yurkanin (Helped me with my portfolio, and showed my portfolio to people)
kevin Cannon (Interim photo editor who has given me this chance)
Jeffrey Scheid (Who let me come meet him at the RJ office, and looked at those initial photos)
Sean Clark (Who looked up the RJ phone number while I was shooting)
Deanna Jones (Who supported me and my crazyness)
My Parents (Who put me through school, which allowed me to develop the skill to do this)
And really a lot of people. Like...a lot. David Calvert, Amy Beck, Brian BBenedict, Jessica Estepa, Peter Goin, all my professors (art and jour)...

Seriously, without the help of others this path would have been nearly impossible. I'm not there yet, so don't think I'm just cosating along at this point. There's a lot of proving left to do.

New Blog

2011-08-20T16:41:00.000-07:00

So, Wix, who hosts my current portfolio www.DanJClarkPhoto.com, is going to be adding blog capability in the coming weeks. (They've been saying that since February) But as soon as they do I'll be starting up a new blog there. maybe something to the effect of "Beyond Doors" or maybe just "Blog". Not sure yet.

I'll still keep this one here, but it will be like the underground edition of my life. It will feature my rants and my more eccentric posts. The blog on my website will become the photo heavy, project update type thing. But I guess we'll see if they even get their blog up and running. Heh.

New Project

2011-08-20T11:48:00.000-07:00

So the wedding is gearing up for a wonderful year long roller coaster ride of planning and stress. Flowers, honeymoon, tux, dress, alterations, boots (yeah boots), and so much other stuff its insane. I think that there kind of is an entrance exam for marriage. And it's this part. Okay, that aside, I have a new project.

When I was younger my friend Gabe and I created comics. He and I collaborated on content and I drew them. Given my remedial skills as an illustrator, we kind of looked like the same person in the comics. And, while the storyline was kind of there, I like to think we'll have more depth this time around. We're going to attempt a comic about childhood. A sort of blend of reality and fantasy. I found that after drawing long lanky characters all my life, drawing kids is freaking hard. (As I said to both Gabe and Deanna because I thought myself clever: "They're all big heads and tiny arms. Like a T-Rex, but less cool.")

So now gabe and I are working on a story and character models. I see the comic starting out playfully, but dealing with some real issues as the story progresses. Possible things to tackle:

Is what is happening (aliens, dinosaurs, etc.) actually real?
If not, then is the other friend even real?
And probably more, lol. I have some sketches I'd like to share now.

Anon Post: 01

2011-08-11T11:56:00.000-07:00

Anonymous will become a social movement very soon. I'm not quite sure how I feel about it yet.

Sandstone Castles

2011-08-10T00:33:00.000-07:00

Sandstone Castles

Our sandstone castles eroded by current,
carried out by undertoe.
Sands of our time sifted, slow.
Pillars of trust, cut away.
Freestanding hopes, supported
on backs of youth, too few.
Weight unwanted, the cost too high
should the stone be let to fall.

Just a bit of prose. A generation lost, left to hold up a broken legacy.

Front Page of CNN.com: A Rant

2011-08-05T18:47:00.000-07:00

I read CNN a lot. For all its leans and biases, it's still pretty fair from what I can see. (I suppose FOX is fair for other people, but I'm not here to talk about media bias.) I wanted to comment on something that generally made me angry. An article on the front page of CNN.COM drew out my claws in a way that made me uneasy. The article is HERE. It's a short rant with facts and generalizations talking about how much of a failure my generation already is (this before we've had a chance to try).

I'll tell you briefly why this bothers me. I was going to rail against this article (in a fashion that would only serve to prove this mans point further) but it's so plainly and unabashedly mean-spirited that I simply won't give it the luxury of going over each point. It felt like a racist manifesto.

"Speaking broadly, millennials are tech-savvy, highly educated and have incredibly high self-esteem even if they haven't done much to deserve it. (To be sure, not every millennial is college educated and exhibits all these traits; we're speaking broadly.)"

Imagine for a second that this is about a race of people. And you say:

'Speaking broadly [Blanks] are [Quality which appears positive but is turned negative later in the piece #1] [Quality #2] and [Quality which you then spin as a condescending remark]. But not all [blanks] are like that, we're speaking broadly.'

The way it's delivered is in such a way that my having an issue with it is fuel to the fire. "There's another hotheaded, self entitled [Blank] that can't take criticism."

We're the next generation, we will hold jobs and we will make decisions. Please don't talk to your fellow "Non-Milleneals" like my generation can simply be turned away (or "re-booted" for that matter). Don't talk like this problem world we've fallen into is somehow just too hard for us. Don't treat me as if I can't hear you up at the grown up table.

Insects

2011-08-03T21:12:00.000-07:00

Just some exoskeletons and a grasshopper that was probably lost.

Official Website

2011-06-22T17:26:00.000-07:00

I've officially created a website with a cohesive portfolio of my work. Please feel free to check it out.

http://www.danjclarkphoto.com/

I will still update this blog with the array of things I've always posted here, so feel free to check back here as well.

Vistaprint is a Terrible Company: a review

2011-06-22T16:49:00.000-07:00

Those of us in the business of printing know what quality printing and 300dpi looks like. And I can tell you, Vistaprint ain't it.

"Vistaprint is committed to customer satisfaction. We will reprint or refund the cost of any product that fails to meet our customers quality expectations. [But the customer must jump through metaphorical flaming hoops in order to receive said refund.]"*
*Bracketed text added by editor for ethical considerations.

Design:
I decided to get cards for my newly established self, website and all. So I chose to use Vistaprint. I found that they require a significant margin for error so your design, should you choose to upload your own, has to be strangely close to the center. I was okay with that, so I proceeded. All over the site they advertise 300DPI!! GREAT QUALITY! PREMIUM PRODUCT! STATE OF THE ART! so I naturally expected that this would be the case when I uploaded a .PSD file of my design. Here's where things got weird.

Checkout:
They have various shipping options. That's fairly normal, but their cheapest option is marked "slow". I have literally never seen "slow" as an option before. It goes against anything I've ever known about online shopping. USPS Ground is like paying someone to kick your package across the United States with steel toed boots. What on *Earth* I asked myself could "slow" possibly be?

Turns out it's as I expected, it's the same kind of shipping as the next step up, except you pay less.

Delivery:
Upon opening the box I was elated. I could begin carrying my little cards around and show people how I'm going to be successful, the little cards would prove it. But alas, the text wasn't readable, colors bled into one another, and it was generally a disgrace to printing. So I put them back in the box and figured I would contact customer service.

Customer Service (Ha ha):
So I contact Customer service through their email system, and tell them that the cards aren't readable and the printing is terrible.
I get a response something to the effect of "We're not responsible for layout, design or typos. Here's a 25% off offer for reprints."
I pause, I re-read my initial email. No I never mentioned layout, design or spelling.
I respond and restate my issue, quality.
The response, almost the same as the first time, except this time no 25% off. How sad.
I respond again and ask to have my matter sent to a supervisor.
They assure me that it has been sent.
Days go by.
I send a reminder email that i am awaiting contact.
Another day goes by.
I send another email.
Another day goes by.

The Call:
As email has failed I begin a campaign of phone calls. But I'm defeated at first by an automated system which directs me to the email system. I pause and Google how to get a live person at Vistaprint. The best way to get a live person at Vistaprint? LIE. Yes, lie to the automated system and pretend you want to place an order. That's the only way I found to get a live person.

This person, reads off a script once I tell them I want a supervisor. I wait on hold. Another person answers and I explain the situation to him. He tells me the same thing I've been told numerous times. I tell him that I have personally printed with matte paper at 300dpi and that what I received was not "quality". He tells me that a refund will be issued (except not for shipping) and that I will receive a confirmation email.

No confirmation email as of yet. No refund as of yet.

Remnants.

2011-06-21T17:12:00.000-07:00

What always seems interesting to me is what cultures leave behind. As I'm rarely around cultures other than American I have explored these types of remnants most closely. I recently stopped at what appeared to be a vacant lot. I stopped and pushed aside dense sagebrush and other desert plants to explore deeper. I discovered the remnants of a house. It seems someone deemed that whatever home had been here so unworthy of existence it was demolished and left to become an overgrown lot. It was beautiful in a sad kind of way. The foundations were left, loose roofing tiles splintered and half buried. And in the back there lies a swimming pool, filled with desert earth instead of chlorinated water.

Front Yard

Foundations

Pool

Outside

2011-05-18T12:20:00.000-07:00

Outside
A Mural Print by Daniel James Clark

Through my artistic development, my work has drawn from a common theme: the blending of reality and fantasy. I’ve made the association between childhood fantasies, and the adult need for wonder, excitement, and adventure. My thesis is that as we age, our thirst for the magical, the fantastic, and the “otherworld” just out of sight does not diminish. As adults we still need to believe that anything is possible. I feel that the way we can satisfy this need is through exploration: going “outside”. Whether exploring takes us just outside our comfort zone, or thrusts us into something wholly immersive does not matter, so long as we are outside.

“Outside” examines that conclusion by drawing the character, and thereby the viewer to peer outside through the window into a universe of possibility. Printed as a 40x26 inch piece, “Outside” is intended to place the viewer in front of a scene they can immerse themselves in more effectively than a smaller print would allow.

imagine

2011-04-24T17:52:00.000-07:00

imagine

Inspired by a loss of personal freedom, which is largely self imposed, “imagine” aims to explore the possibilities we lose as we grow older. I started this project with research into what it is children posess that we as adults have lost. The answer seems to be the ability to immerse oneself in imaginative play. Current research has found that this ability tends to decrease with age, and that the current methods used to teach todays youth may be depriving children of “unstructured playtime”.

What I aim to explore in this series is the part of this situation which recieves less attention: evidence that adults lose the ability to play imaginatively with age. A growing culture of people have begun to push back this trend and play imaginatively as adults. Flashmobs, urban exploration, historical reenactments, and numerous other groups and subcultures seek to extract adventure and fun from the otehrwise standard routines of life. The webcomic XKCD has embraced this sort of sentimental exploration of the ‘inner child’. The comic depicts characters who merge fantasy with reality frequently, and I have found the ideas to accurately voice the growing discord I feel with reality as it presents itself to me. Comic 137 entitled “Dreams” examines the limitations we impose upon ourselves as we age:

“The infinite possibilities each day holds should stagger the mind…” an unnamed stick figure says. “We live trapped in loops, reliving a few days over and over, and we envision only a handful of paths laid out before us. We see the same things every day, we respond the same way, we think the same thoughts, each day a slight variation on the last, every moment smoothly following the gentle curves of societal norms. We act like if we just get through today, tomorrow our dreams will come back to us.
“And no, I don't have all the answers… But I do know one thing: the solution doesn't involve watering down my every little idea and creative impulse for the sake of some day easing my fit into a mold… It doesn't involve constantly holding back for fear of shaking things up.
“This is very important, so I want to say it as clearly as I can:
“FUCK. THAT. SHIT.”

xkcd comic #150 "Grownups"

The Floor is Lava

Secret Agent

Super Hero

Above.

2011-04-24T17:40:00.000-07:00

"Above." is a series of photos taken to inspire people to explore their surroundings. Also included are aerial views of the locations. Not well received by initial audiences.

Gunslinger II

2011-04-24T17:24:00.000-07:00

A pretty straightforward retooling of my original "Gunslinger" series. This time, however, I've inserted a female element to make a subtle point about female roles in history.

There's something going on.

2011-04-21T23:13:00.000-07:00

Or at least it feels that way. There's a movement going on. Perhaps it's a facet that's always been there and I'm just now noticing, but it doesn't feel that way.

Take a look at Owl City, the rash of childhood shows and movies being remade, footie pajamas for adults (Awesome, I know), artists working in fantasy and make-believe (myself included), and a general theme swirling around in culture: A lot of people are afraid to grow up. I mean, it makes perfect sense. I was talking with my mom the other day when I asked her "Is it really true that you used to be able to just go out and get a job?" She informed me that, yes, it was once that easy. I was at a loss for words.

People are living with their parents for longer and longer time frames now. Hell, healthcare lets 'children' stay on their parent's healthcare for an insane amount of time.

The world is a scary and unfriendly place. And not in the same ways we're used to either. We were taught as kids that the world was hard to get into, that it took hard work to get things done. But, we were not really taught that hard work often doesn't pay off. That's really confusing. And I seriously understand why that's a little frightening.

Why I'm making the art I do (yes there's a relevant point in here) is clearer to me now. I'm making art for a sort of confused generation. A generation which was told that the world rewards hard work. A generation which sees before it more natural disasters, economic downfall, terrorism, crime, and fear than we were prepared for. And as we enter adulthood it's like walking into a burning building. What in holy hell are we supposed to do? I make art. That art has dealt with our (my) escapes so far. Fantasy. Make-Believe. I suppose the next step would be to make art which addresses the fear, and I have absolutely no idea how to go about doing that.

Urban Decay

2011-03-05T14:24:00.001-08:00

This series, titled "Urban Decay" draws from my stencil archive. This is the first black and white series I've done in quite a while. It also draws from more narrative than conceptual roots, which is almost an about face from my standard techniques.

Rant.

2011-03-02T17:16:00.000-08:00

From my notebook (excuse the ego):

"The aim of my art is not to roll my eyes at the "is-this-art"ists. It is simply a coincidence that in attempting to do the very basic idea of "convey meaning" it sort of does.

I don't particularly care if what I do will be considered art. It is simply an expression.

If I am remembered for my art and it is to be labelled, I'd like to be placed in whatever movement made art simply to convey meaning to an audience. No jumbled messages about whether or not I meant to say that art is a representation of blah blah blah.

Movements are dead.

Art can come back out and take a breath. What we all do is art if we say it is or if someone thinks it is. (Relativity!) Point made modernists, postmodernists, anti-artists, anti-anti-artists. We get it. Say something else. And make it pretty. Not because art needs to be pretty, but because art has become like a TV show 12 seasons down the road. There are some hardcore fans that get the references and the inside jokes and the overarching messages. But the rest of us stopped watching. The rest of us are done. Make a new show.

Shit.

That was very postmodern of me. Wasn't it?"

Update on Projects (II)

2011-01-22T18:31:00.000-08:00

Another brief update. Projects, many of them. More than I have time for and a growing list.

- Las Vegas Project (This semester?)
- Urban Decay (This semester)
- Mobius Tree Sculpture
- Re: All Things
- Consumer Carcass
- The kiss.
- "The stars fell like snowflakes from the sky and soon we made snowmen of stardust."
- Behind the Glass
- Party Perfect
- Unnamed Female Portrait Diptych:
|__ Bust shot of girl in front of a field of stars.
|__ Close up of lips exhaling a thin breath. Stars behind.
- Untitled History Project

Post on Photojournalism (II)

2011-01-21T12:47:00.000-08:00

As far as photojournalism is concerned, I summed up my personal relationship with it in a post some time ago. My opinions are the same, but I wanted to explain another facet of what the photo taken by Stuart Franklin (I incorrectly cited Jeff Widener for the shot last time. He took another similar photograph, as did a couple of others) means to me.

This photograph illustrates a serious issue I had early in college perfectly. The issue is settled (mostly) now, but often rumbles uncomfortably (like a dormant volcano we're not prefectly sure of). Do I want to *make* this photograph, or do I want to *be* this photograph? The question remains. And another in the wake of this one: Can I do both?

(I know I have not posted here in a very long time. I thought the best way to begin posting again would be by posting again. You know, Instead of saying "I should post more" and forgetting again.)

Artwork in Strega

2010-04-28T19:49:00.000-07:00

So I've finished an epic amount of work. At least it felt epic. The final project for photo is complete. Not only is it complete, but it's on display at Strega. Yep, that's right, I have an outside show. And it's not even only for the book. I have other art up as well. Lets have a look.

Update

2010-04-27T07:55:00.000-07:00

I haven't updated for a while. And while I think I'll update this soon I don't think saying "I'll update this later today" is going to stick. I'm about to pass out because I haven't slept quite well for a very long time. In fact I didn't sleep at all last night. Still up. Anyhow. Photos. Pretty time. I hope they translate from browser to browser and screen to screen... The official link is here.

Pointy Things

2010-03-05T01:59:00.000-08:00

I was walking home and I saw some pointy stuff that looked pretty awesome against the sky. So I took some photos. Enjoy.

Random Update

2010-02-18T19:36:00.000-08:00

Just a few random shots about the campus and one from my house. Enjoy.

Commit to Memory: Introduction

2010-02-18T14:31:00.000-08:00

I'm starting a personal project. I'll be revisiting memories that have impacted me during my stay here at the University of Nevada. Each post will talk about a different memory. I hope it will ease in the process of leaving this place.

See it here at:
www.commit-to-memory.blogspot.com

Discarded pen

2010-02-09T13:38:00.001-08:00

I walked by this pen on my way to class. I think it's a pretty scene. please enjoy the two I liked best.

Was, is, will be.

2010-01-30T03:11:00.001-08:00

They're strong. Words, that is. I've come so far. My words from the past have come back to... remind me.

I was talking to Deanna when my phone cut out. I was talking about my past. I'm really sad I can't talk to her right now. I tried to find another phone but I can't. It's times like these that I feel how far I am from her. I wanted to apologize for how blind I was. The whole time, during all of that turmoil in my life. She was there and I didn't even stop to look.

I used to do this a lot, I feel I was better off for it. I'd write and see what happened, you know.

In 2006 my art took a shift. I've been doing highly personal work that has been lost to most audiences since then. I think it may have culminated last semester in a journal I have yet to post here. I made the switch in 2006 away from political art. I think I'm ready to move outside of myself now. I think as a final step in my college career I need to do the last thing that scares me. I need to arrive.

I've put myself out there.

That says it well: I've shoved a "me" out there for people to view. But. I haven't been out there myself. I once told Deanna that I see my art as an extension of myself. I feel like I need to stand beside it. I think what I need to do is something that is, me. My class calls for me to pose a problem to myself. To attempt to overcome a challenge. I don't quite know what it is yet. But.

My challenge involves standing next to my work. It's large. It's immersive. And it's intimately connected to me, and as a strange turn of events, to the outside world.

My art WAS a reflection of the world.
My art IS a reflection of me.
My art WILL BE my reflection on the world.

I miss her so much.

Coals

2010-01-28T02:12:00.001-08:00

Lighting coals for my hookah.

Virginia City

2010-01-24T21:15:00.000-08:00

A failed attempt to visit American Flat(s?) ended with a simple day of exploring Virginia City. Pretty fun stuff. I'll be making the trip out to American Flat(s) later this semester.

Just around the bend.

2010-01-23T21:04:00.001-08:00

So I'd been here once before. A tattered area that feels like a mix of various landscapes. Discarded luggage, train tracks, massive tires, old warehouses. It took me an entire semester to actually get my camera out there. This is the first visit to the area. Enjoy.

Winter Break: Trip Back

2010-01-23T20:49:00.000-08:00

It was overcast and rainy the entire drive from Vegas to Reno save one moment. We were driving and Sean rolled his window down. He then realized the window would not go back up. We pulled over and saw the sunset on our left. I snapped a few shots before we finally got back on the road. Sometimes bad things happen for good reasons.

Winter Break: Valley of Fire

2010-01-21T00:57:00.001-08:00

Trip to the Valley of Fire. Pretty much amazing. Please enjoy.

Winter Break: Nature Sunday

2010-01-21T00:54:00.000-08:00

Deanna and her family took me along on a trip to photograph the bird preserve. It was pretty awesome. Enjoy what I was able to get.

Winter Break: Shoes

2010-01-21T00:47:00.000-08:00

So I was dropping Gabe off at his house and as I was driving away I saw these. They were neat. I've always had a thing for power lines. So in order to capture some of these I climbed onto a wall. The wall had this thornbush thing on it. One of the long thorns jabbed me in the vein in my hand. My hand is still discolored for some reason... Anywho, photos, enjoy.

Winter Break: Gabe's Headshots

2010-01-21T00:37:00.000-08:00

My friend Gabriel needed headshots. I wish I'd gotten some more straightforward smiling ones. but these are more real. Less headshots, more portraits.

Winter Break: Urban Shooting

2010-01-21T00:28:00.001-08:00

Deanna and I drove until we found interesting things. Then we took photos. Enjoy what I came up with!

Winter Break: Rose Bowl

2010-01-21T00:21:00.000-08:00

That's right, I went to the Rose Bowl. Where the Buckeyes kicked ass. Deanna and I went down, in her awesomely decorated car, and got to the parking lot early. We slept until the next day in the back of her car and got up to an epic game day.

Christmas lights.

2010-01-20T23:49:00.000-08:00

I always seem to come out of the holidays with a photo like this. Simple. Colorful. Enjoy.

Christmas Tree Hunting

2009-12-02T20:03:00.000-08:00

That's right. Hunting. For Christmas trees. Deanna's family is awesome. Every year they drive into the wilderness and literally chop their own tree down, toss it in a trailer, pick up a few for friends and family and drive back to the city. Epic. Here are some of the photos I got from that day. (And a couple from the drive back to Reno at the end of the break)

4000 Miles: Return to Columbus

2009-12-02T19:54:00.001-08:00

So I went back to Ohio. This time she knew I was coming. Things were amazing. Here are some of the shots I got from the trip. There are a bunch online of the more snapshotty images. Enjoy.

Fun Random Update

2009-12-02T19:49:00.000-08:00

Long time no post. I have three for you. This is the first of those. please enjoy these random images.

Homecoming Bonfire

2009-10-26T23:34:00.000-07:00

As my final homecoming is now over I share my final bonfire photos. I took a challenging approach to the bonfire: shoot the event without heavily relying on complete silhouettes. I think some of these came out very well. Enjoy.

Remnants: An Introduction

2009-09-23T16:36:00.000-07:00

I've been asked to do a journal in my photography class. Since I already do a photo blog this seemed relatively easy. I'll expand the idea a bit later, but the journal is titled Remnants. In it there will be "entries" which are more like sections. The first one will be Remnants: Tracks about things i find left along railroad tracks. The idea of the whole project is to study what we leave behind. I'm starting with concrete objects but may delve into psychological remnants.

Random Wanderings

2009-09-18T16:31:00.000-07:00

Another post about wandering. I just photographed a bit of my day. The ones of the bathroom are inspired and pretty much for a fellow artist. Definitely not as good as hers. But the point was to show what a male bathroom is scrawled with. Ignore the random reflection, lol.

Photo J assignment

2009-09-15T09:40:00.000-07:00

So I shot an an assignment for photojournalism basically just supposed to be high low and medium angles. And I included one random. Please enjoy.

And here's the random one I liked.

Random update.

2009-09-14T00:34:00.000-07:00

A few photos from Pikapp rush and some other stuff. Hope you enjoy.

Random Wanderings

2009-09-10T14:10:00.000-07:00

Some photos from my day. The ones of the pens I stumbled across. They're inspired by a friends photo. Enjoy.

Labor Day in Vegas

2009-09-09T23:22:00.000-07:00

I'd like to share a few pictures from the pool at the South Point in Vegas. We went there to use their pool on Labor Day weekend. Keep your room keys people. They come in handy later.

Cigars and wine.

2009-08-30T21:46:00.000-07:00

Cigars and wine. I live with classy folk.

Back in Action, or Welcome Week Midnight Pancake Traditions

2009-08-26T11:57:00.000-07:00

One thing I'm going to miss about the university come the end of this year is the Midnight Pancake Breakfast. It's become a personal tradition as well as a legitimate University tradition. My tradition is shooting the hell out of it. This is by far one of the most enjoyable events to shoot I've ever come across. Maybe one of these days I'll compile all of the pancake shoots into one comparative one. I attempt the picture of Mackay every year, and every year I want it to do something it won't. This year was fairly successful, but I'm coming to the conclusion that the I might not ever get it right.

Truck At Sunset

2009-08-19T06:04:00.000-07:00

I sped down Magic at speeds a bit above normal. I had to catch the light before it was gone forever. I pulled into the dirt and climbed atop my truck. Here we are.

Glider Driver

2009-08-15T05:36:00.000-07:00

I'm in love with these little critters. They're sugar gliders who belong to Deanna. They're amazing and were playing around in the car on our way to Deanna's house last night. There are the photos I liked from that ride.

National Clean Energy Summit 2.0: Update Three

2009-08-12T17:15:00.000-07:00

Part three of my update on the National Clean Energy Summit 2.0. These are from the wrap-up press conference at the end of the day.

National Clean Energy Summit 2.0: Update Two

2009-08-12T17:03:00.000-07:00

This is part two of my update about the National Clean Energy Summit 2.0. These are from an address President Bill Clinton gave to the audience on his views on clean energy and the state of the nation regarding it.

National Clean Energy Summit 2.0: Update One

2009-08-12T16:44:00.001-07:00

I recently attended the National Clean Energy Summit 2.0 in Las Vegas. It was attended by various important individuals including President Bill Clinton, Vice President Al Gore, Sen. Harry Reid and many, many more. This update is from the first part of the event, a round table guided discussion on clean energy and jobs. Enjoy.

New project.

2009-08-09T16:55:00.000-07:00

I use this blog as a depository for ideas. I'll be rounding them all up soon to then make one of them a semester long project.

Idea one: The kiss.

Idea two: "The stars fell like sprinkles from the sky and soon we made snowmen of stardust." A photo with that caption. It might make a better painting or ink drawing.

One photo and a personal truth.

2009-08-03T17:40:00.000-07:00

So I went to the Adventuredome with some friends of mine recently. (For non-Vegas-natives that's a huge indoor amusement park inside a giant pink dome. That's right, it's so hot here, we put or amusement park inside a giant dome, then made sure it was pink.) But as I've been spending a lot of time out recently, which is not my usual, I've had to make some choices about camera vs. no camera. I'm usually the person with a DSLR strapped to him at all times. But as of late I've noticed that the camera has formed a defensive barrier between me and interacting with those around me. I'm going to tangent off for a minute, but I'll be right back.

I have used the camera to document tragedies. Many of them. I've taken photos at memorials and funerals. Dog searches for missing girls, and press conferences about shut down campuses. I've used my camera to document aids victims, and terrorists. Friends losing elections, and so much more pain and sorrow than I care to recount here today. I have of course used it for more positive emotions. Like a trip[ to build homes for less fortunate souls, a camp for children with disabilities, and so much more. But the point is the camera helps me remove myself from these situations so I don't get involved. As a journalist this is a truly amazing skill to posses.

However. In recent days my camera and the mindset I associate it with has hindered me in some situations. I love taking photos. But I take few of them in social situations because I slip into an observing role, quiet and waiting, calculating, far too easily. I've recently had a breakthrough however. I took a point and shoot to the Adventuredome. And I was able to use a camera (not yet the one I used to cover the tragedies, but a step is a step) and not become removed from the situation. I'm close to being able to use a camera without disappearing emotionally. And here's a photo I really really liked from the Adventuredome.

Night Stroll

2009-07-30T10:42:00.000-07:00

Just a couple pictures I got. Nothing too fancy, just what caught my eye. Some glass in the dirt and a neat angle. I do however have a story:

I was taking the second photo here (Using my bag as a tripod mind you). And I'm singing to my iPod while doing this, so I have no idea what's going on around me. I get my shot and pack up to go home, which is over a gate a few hundred feet behind me. I start walking when a flashlight illuminates me, casting my shadow on the wall. I think to myself "That's odd.." and turn around to see two security guards. So at this moment I have two options. 1) Keep going to the gate and leave as I already was. Or 2) get harassed for no reason at all by security guards. (I know and they know that I wasn't trespassing because there are no signs. And that I can take pictures of anything on the outside of a building I want in the state of Nevada. Also, they can't touch me legally. Nor am I a legal "threat" If I'm walking away.) So as I know this and they know this, I keep singing and keep walking to the gate. I know that if they give up they'll be reprimanded by the management. And I know they seriously don't want to deal with the bullshit "Don't you come round' these paahts no moah kid!" either. So based on an unspoken mutual understanding I hop the fence and walk into my neighborhood.

The Real South.

2009-07-29T00:57:00.000-07:00

I can cross one thing off my list. I've visited the real South. Where the air literally makes your clothes heavier. When Charleston is Chas'n. Where the men wear khaki shorts and white polo shirts. Where women wear skirts that reach the actual waistline. Where the smile and nod is a bit more of a smile, look, and nod. Where secret parties happen upstairs. Where the bars close. Where another kind of history lives and breathes.

I visited Charleston, South Carolina for a Pi Kappa Phi conference. These are five of the shots I was more interested in. The rest will be on the Nevada Pikapp website soon. I was very busy for most of my trip, so I didn't get a lot of time for photography.

Sunset closely followed by adventure.

2009-07-22T11:55:00.000-07:00

So I went to a spot I love and watched the sunset for the first time in a long while. It was very pretty, here are a few shots from that. After that I went on an adventure to somewhere I've always wanted to go. The Stratosphere. Not the elevation, the casino. It was truly amazing if a bit windy.

A herd I'd never seen.

2009-07-13T15:23:00.000-07:00

So yesterday Deanna took me to see something amazing. Bighorn sheep, so close you could almost touch them, in a park. Here are a few shots I got. Not a lot that really stands out to me. But a fantastic experience. Deanna has a few on her blog that are really good, I'd recommend checking those out.

2009-07-03T02:48:00.000-07:00

Behind me, where I've come from, lightning flashes. Wind and moisture spill over the edges of the valley. But now, in the heart, the air is still. An empty lot, bordering a building throbbing with internal heartbeats and rhythm. A rare occurrence where I am. Partially paved from it's former life. It offers a new look at the perpetual site of progress. A half dozen camps of those sleeping beneath its trapped light cough, rustle and complain lightly as I snap my shots quickly and depart.

Cement

2009-06-28T17:42:00.000-07:00

I've been going out lately. To places I've never been. Places I've always wanted to go. Some are physical locations, some are states of mind. Anywho. Here's a photo from one of the locations I was at recently. (Shutter release cable and new tripod for the win.

Plane.

2009-06-21T03:02:00.001-07:00

I'm distracted. Here's a plane.

Blur

2009-06-19T18:48:00.000-07:00

This all originated from a couple firends photos and one I took accidentally. The general idea is to make good use of blur. I haven't had much time to myself as of late, so the only exploration of this I've been able to accomplish is one just outside my place of employment. More to come. Along with a beginning of my Vegas Project.

The Palace

2009-06-09T00:37:00.000-07:00

I heard it referred to as "The Palace" by a resident today. The "Boby Motel" is the last motel on your way out of Las Vegas by Boulder Highway. There is a story attached to this Motel. I saw it first a long time ago. The story has developed, evolved. And it's almost true in my mind.

I was far away. All I saw was the Motel, and city lights twinkling in the distance. A car was being loaded up. The door to a room open, orange light spilling into the dark, contrasting the green of the outdoor lights. A man was loading up the car with bags, quickly. A woman standing in the doorway, silhouetted. I thought the two were in love. The town had gotten ahold of them, but they had planned to leave for years. And this quiet moment, this night, was theirs. They didn't make a fuss about it. They just quietly found the exit this night. I imagine that every time the man went back into the room to retrieve another bag the couple shared a smile. I think that with one more breath of dusty air the man and woman looked at their room, closed and locked the door and got into their car. And I hope that as they pulled away they looked in their rear view mirror (because turning to look back wasn't an option) at the dance of glowing fireflies in the distance, the shimmer of their former lives, and smiled. I hope they found a place to keep this town in their hearts as the home they started from. Because every story has a beginning.

I wasn't able to get all of the shots I wanted. I didn't want to intrude on the privacy of some people standing outside. So I'll go back another day.

I then visited a place that has never been named appropriately. "The Cave" was once floated, but never caught. It simply is. Coated with grime and dirt and thought. It belongs to those who find it.

Ours

2009-05-24T00:28:00.000-07:00

It was worn, rusted, not grand or new. It was dirty. Half our hurdles pre-dated us. Our blocks had to be manned by two people. But it was ours, and that's all that realy mattered.

Nevada Sate Track

2009-05-23T01:16:00.000-07:00

So I went to Del Sol today, mostly on a whim, and spent from 3:00PM to 9:00PM shooting the state track meet. It's amazing what you can get away with just by holding a camera. The original plan was to simply take some photos of track, because I've always wanted to. Especially after a friend of mine did some a while back. I was so very jealous. So, even though this was only high school, I had quite a bit of fun. (For anyone who reads this and doesn't know me too well, I did tack back in high school. Hurdles. Hilarious, I know. But I can jump like a mofo.) It brought back a bunch of memories, which was nice.

But as I took photos I saw a theme developing. Some don't quite fit, those are the.. more classic ones. There are a bunch in here though that fall into a theme that I can't name exactly. So much of track is focused on the 'doing' of the event. I was always of the opinion that the moments just before and just after your event are the ones you'll remember the most. The moments before that gun goes off are the most intense moments I can recall.

Now prepare yourself for...lots of images.

It's like a compulsion.

2009-05-13T18:08:00.001-07:00

You can't walk past this without taking photos. It's nearly impossible.

Anticipation mounts...

2009-05-13T13:06:00.000-07:00

The quad is covered with hundreds of chairs. The geometric placement of each and every one is carefully measured and executed. Years of work, from teachers, parents, friends, family and the graduate themselves has nearly reached its inevitable peak. Graduation is upon us. *Suttle green hue courtesy of Blogger*

Baby animals for you!

2009-05-08T10:50:00.001-07:00

Geese, ducks and swans, they all had the most fuzzy adorable babies ever. Please enjoy.

My clock at work.

2009-05-04T15:09:00.000-07:00

This is similar to a post I made about my old desk at the Sagebrush. The photo is pretty self explanatory. My clock is off, and it gets me into trouble. So I fixed it.

More project plans.

2009-05-02T22:34:00.000-07:00

This is going to be a bit disjointed. But here it goes.

Behind the Glass: A project based on a sort of obsessive sketch I used to draw. A mental patient of some sort on the right side. A man in a suit in the left. Between them is a pane of glass. Inspired by a photo I can't find and by a single frame from a Blink182 music video.

The shots planned are a more dynamic version of the sketch I previously described.

Party Perfect: Essentially shots of a party, kind of like the ones you'd see on Facebook. But magazine perfect. A comment on reality and perception.

A Profile and Rubber Duckies

2009-05-01T14:54:00.000-07:00

So I'm doing some photos of professors here at UNR. Ian Buckle runs the large scale earthquake lab here. And I got to take some shots of him as he gave me a tour. I really like how they came out. Enjoy a few if you please.

The rest of the photos today are from Duck Day. An event put on by Nye Hall.

Musing

2009-04-27T22:10:00.000-07:00

Bus moves, through the dark.
Shadows twist and slide,
glide across seats.
Passengers sleep.

I find myself thinking about traveling. About how much cheaper escape is when you plan it one way.

Train platform metaphors are my favorite.

Mackay Week Begins

2009-04-27T13:26:00.000-07:00

That's right. It's time for Mackay Week. Photos for you.

Fallon Day 2009

2009-04-26T22:40:00.001-07:00

So we helped a fellow Pikapp and roommate move some furniture from Fallon to Reno today. In the process we went out shooting. One can see the photos of the full trip here if you care. I'll only put a few of the more intended art ones here. The first one I need to explain. The camera is on a self timer, prefocused. I didn't point a gun at someone. I also didn't upload it to Facebook for obvious reasons.

Power Drain.

2009-04-16T14:35:00.001-07:00

I haven't slept for more than 4 hours a night for a while now.

Reid and the UNR Greenhouses

2009-04-15T21:31:00.000-07:00

Today I was fortunate enough to shoot an assignment involving Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid taking a tour of the UNR Ecological Expirement Station. Please enjoy some of the many, many shots I got. (By the way, does anyone else have problems with Blogger robbing photos of warmth?)

:Edit: Here's some more. Because I'm crazy.

4000 Miles

2009-04-13T13:22:00.000-07:00

I've got quotes for this trip. I've got descriptions for this trip. I've got feelings for this trip. Ideas. Scraps of paper. Lists. Lyrics. Memories. What I also have is a surprising lack of photos. I know. I've got a few ideas as to why that is, but none of them have any credibility. Here are the few I did capture.

Campus Rail Jam and Baseball Angle

2009-04-10T01:24:00.000-07:00

First I'll show you a few photos I got at the Campus Rail Jam. Pretty neat event, if a bit pointless.

Now here's a new angle I'm playing with at baseball games. It's most definitely been done before... I think. But it's new to me.

Wishes on stars.

2009-04-10T01:05:00.000-07:00

Here are the promised photos of the astronomy class. It was a fantastic experience. I hope the photos do it justice.

Because there's always more.

2009-04-04T03:21:00.000-07:00

There are moments where you realize there are thousands, millions, billions of things you've yet to do.

One of these things is stargazing on a rooftop. I covered an astronomy class tonight and have since vowed to buy myself a telescope.

Now for a pretty rectangle to tide you over

Update on Projects

2009-04-02T01:50:00.000-07:00

The Untitled Las Vegas Project is stalled till summer.

My Self Portrait can only begin after the spring semester ends.

I have a portrait thing planned for a girl. Two shots.
- Face shot of girl in front of a field of stars.
- Close up of lips exhaling a thin breath. Stars behind.

Untitled University Project
See this.

Gethell
I actually saw that someone did this similar project so this will just have to be a personal project. But getting into our closed old library is the idea. And documenting the small things we left behind is the point.

Untitled History Project
This one is my new baby. I'll probably not get to this one for years. The basic premise is to select moments from the time before photojournalism and document them again. Obviously staged. And I have tricks up my sleeve of how to do it right. What inspired this was my art history class. My teacher remarked that the paintings we were seeing were moments taken out of time. That they were the photos of the era. And I began wondering how a photojournalist would cover Jesus giving the keys to the kingdom to the first pope. Needless to say I love this whole idea and I'm thinking of new ideas every moment.

I have wronged the blogosphere!

2009-03-26T15:18:00.000-07:00

I am so sorry people in blogland. (Yes, I plan to put the word blog in random word mash-ups.) I've forsaken the bloglaw of first posting here. I posted something on my Facebook before bloggerized it here. In fact I posted a couple things there first. Woe is me! I will bloggate these events as soon as possible. One of them is what I like to call my Digital Transition. The other is a chronicling of a fun trip into California. Well fellow Bloggites I will blog you later. Also, what have I written?

Doodle.

2009-03-12T15:36:00.000-07:00

Doodle.

Snow settles in March.

2009-03-10T02:14:00.000-07:00

I could be pretty pissed off about what happened. (20 points to whoever tells me what that references) But I guess you can't really be angry when the thing you're trying to be mad at is white, fluffy and joy-filled. I was looking forward to warmth though.

Funny story about these photos. Some of the ones of the quad were taken from the balcony of Morrill Hall. Funny thing about that is I walked out onto the balcony (and I never forget this) and i forgot to prop the door open. So it closed and locked behind me. So I'm standing out, in the cold, stranded on a balcony, collecting snow. So I take pictures.

Rain.

2009-03-08T18:55:00.000-07:00

Such a pretty world.

Update on projects.

2009-03-08T18:48:00.000-07:00

Ghosts of Campus

2009-03-03T13:32:00.000-08:00

There's something rich and intoxicating about the University of Nevada campus. A definite sense of history and tradition that I've begun to cultivate. There are ghosts on campus. Not spooky beings, but ideas that linger. Ideas that have crept into the cracks. Ideas that sing words to the student sighing on the lawn,

mackay, life, respect, love, drinking, bells, houses, laughter, students, books, events, clubs, class

Words that have meant something for generations. Words that echo with each semester and never grow faint. So loud are these echoes that they seem new each time. But beneath these are the lower echoes. The ones that need to be helped back into our lives. Words that need to be said again and again, yelled if need should arise to bring them back from beneath.

These are whispered to the student sighing on the lawn,

secrets, paths, tunnels, sundown, involvement, tradition, history, pride

Help me say these words. Help me bring back the echoes of our great university.

Cracks.

2009-03-01T21:00:00.000-08:00

Splintered under intense heat. Asphalt, black as obsidian. Nightfall. Gentle rain. A softer feel.

My first day as a Sagebrusher.

2009-02-25T20:43:00.000-08:00

I thought I'd tell a story tonight. We were in the old offices at the time. And I was brand new to campus. I had turned in a disk with photos for review. (That was something you did back in the day.) And for my first assignment I met Amy Beck at the office. The first thing she asked me was if I'd ever used a digital SLR before.

Funny story. I lied. I had never used one in my life. I had used a film SLR before but never a DSLR. So here I was, expensive camera in hand, and I really didn't know how to use it. It wasn't too bad. Film and digital are pretty similar. So I took what I knew about digital photography with my hybrid camera and made some assumptions based on my film SLR experience and I came up with a somewhat decent range of use for the camera in my hand.

Oh faking it like only Journalists can.

Fun story. Hope you enjoyed.

Dusk, or ruminations on transition states.

2009-02-23T18:22:00.000-08:00

There is something about dusk. The world slipping into darkness. My senses seem heightened. Perhaps it's a remnant of an instinct. 'Pay attention self, the night, and the dangers associated with it, is rapidly approaching.' Shadows are deeper than they will be even in the dead of night. Everything seems quieter. Sounds come in singularities. The trees tremble, and when they've said their piece the leaves will rustle. In fact I've noticed that there are less people out at dusk. Something disconcerting about the time I guess.

But perhaps it isn't instinct. Perhaps it's a fascination with transitory states. The 'in between'. The process rather than the result for the artist. The race rather than the finish. Young adulthood. The reporting. The climb. And, according to Stephen King, the story. Between the definites. Beyond the understood. In a word, Dusk.

Entirely random update. (There are weenies)

2009-02-23T14:14:00.000-08:00

As I said, random things today. Pictures from the new Math and Science center, the Weeniemobile, campaign material, stuff I did for a blog someone is making, and a random picture from the business building.

Three projects.

2009-02-17T13:08:00.000-08:00

Las Vegas
If you read this blog you might remember my post on Las Vegas personified. Well I'm making that a reality. Photo collage of things quintessentially Las Vegas tiled to do this kind of a thing. I hope to make a statement about my hometown that's neither positive nor negative simply real.

Moments
I'm currently collecting moments. These moments don't need to be huge and earth changing, in fact the smaller the better. These moments should fit into this general description:

Though the moment is abysmally small.
and insignificant
I found it lying it in my mind.
and my heart
It is still there today.

perhaps some moment that nags at you even though it really shouldn't. A lost teddy bear, a missed kiss, anything. Once I have these moments collected I'll try to make something.

Objects
This is a highly personal piece having to do with physical possessions. Kind of a case for materialism.